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Ak47Girl's survival guide entry № 551
The Undead and other fiends
Chapter 1
Zombies and the Animated Dead
Russian zombies
Russian zombies are like most other zombies except they are more resistant to cold. I suspect that vodka acts as an antifreeze to the cold. Most normal zombies would freeze solid in Russia but these guys keep on walking only they seem stagger a bit more...
Nazi zombies
Nazi zombies, these guys were assholes in life in death they are even worse! Due to the amount of WW2 battlefields in Russia they are a continuing problem. They also are one of the few zombie types that use weapons but the jokes on them as most of their weapons have rusted shut after 50 or so years laying in the ground. This gives you some time to run or fight. If you fight be careful as these bastards usually have helmets on making head shots a pain in the ass!
Zombie Strippers / Hookers
Okay okay so there is a difference, one is trying to pay her way through college. Either one is extremely dangerous if you have men present in your anti zombie hunting group. The simple fact is men are suckers when it comes to boobs even dead ones. You could be fighting an entire horde of the undead running low on ammo ready to pick up a machete and fight hand to hand for what could be a last desperate stand when out walks a half naked soulless streetwalker and guess what? Every guy (well not the 10%) is gawking at those brain eating bitches! WTF! They often inspire extreme prejudice in anti zombie team females who more often than not have to save the day from memorized male teammates.
Clown zombies
Clown zombies, I mean WTF! They are among the worst there is. Not only are they scary as hell when living but dead oh shit they are diabolical! Among the most sadistic zombies there is they must be killed on sight or else they will try to appear where you least want them or least expect them.
Crackhead Zombies
Crackhead zombies, damn they are fast! Found mostly in the Americas they are an extremely hard to hit fastwalker due to sheer speed and skinny frame. Not quite as hostile as some other forms of the undead they often forsake brain eating for looting. One can often observe crackhead zombies actually running in the opposite direction of the zombie horde carrying away their prized appliances and booze off to their zombie lairs.
Skeleton warriors
Skeleton warriors. These bastards are bad news. Chances are some dark magic started this animated skeleton shit but don't worry a 12 gauge will sort this problem out. Be careful though they are quick! Use anything that smashes bones then find the assbag who animated them and make him pay.
Zombie dogs
Zombie dogs how nasty! These bastards stink like road kill, truly the worst smelling of the bunch except for maybe excessively fat zombies. Man's best friend is a deadly adversary when zombiefied mostly due to the quick speed and the smaller target they present and the fact most people are shit shots on moving targets. Either way use a shotgun to put down the canine cadavers!
